Author: Ms. Kelly

When Birdsall House first opened our students were all infants and toddlers.  Our families all understood the importance of the close relationships we were forming with their children.  They also understood our philosophy for the infants and toddlers that pulls from R.I.E. and the teachings of Magda Gerber. Everyone was on board for our not having bouncy seats or other restraining devices and for our taking even the youngest infants outside to experience nature.

One family had doubts about our preschool program because like our infants, it was all child directed play.  When their oldest son, Wes was three they became worried. I believe they were torn, they trusted me and my knowledge, but they were also surrounded by other parents of preschoolers who were talking about their children reading and writing at 3 years old.

I assured these parents that their child did not need to be reading and writing at 3. I also talked to them about how their child was learning so many more important things, like problem solving, social emotional development, a love of books and knowledge and getting their mind and body ready for learning when they start school.

They decided to keep their child here at Birdsall House and to also enroll him in a half day pre-K program with the school district.  He loved the pre-K class and when he started kindergarten, he was more than ready. He is now 9 and in 3rd grade, enjoys school and does well in all his subjects.

The parents decided that Birdsall House and the pre-K program had been the perfect way to give their child a great start to school.  When it was time, their second child, Crosby, started pre-K and again, did very well. Unfortunately, when he was ready to start kindergarten, it was 2020.  The family decided to wait for kindergarten and instead enrolled Crosby in a neighborhood learning pod.  This was a great alternative to starting kindergarten virtually, unfortunately for Crosby, he was a bit bored. By the time he started kindergarten, he was much more than ready.  He told me that there was only one child smarter than him in his class and she had gone to a forest school.  His parents and teachers were not sure exactly what to do with him.  He is in first grade this year and has been admitted into the gifted program.

Their third child, Jacob, is currently four and I asked the mom why they had not sent him to the pre-K program at the school.  Her response was “he doesn’t need to”, they have learned that the time their children spend here playing, is all they need to be ready for kindergarten.

This family has come to see the value of play in preparing their children for success in school and beyond.  

Over the holidays we had our graduates join us. These days are always crazy, but they are also some of the best days and my favorites.
Our oldest graduate is Molly who is 10 and I have known her for most of her life. She was in my class as an infant and was one of the first students at Birdsall House when we opened.

Molly was talking to me about her school, and she said that she thought it was strange that most of the other fourth graders don’t talk to the younger children. She said that she always waves and says hi to the kindergarteners. She remembers what it was like to be new to school and thinks the other students should too.

We talked about how she is used to being with younger children; this might not be the same for the other fourth graders. Even if they have younger siblings, there is a good chance that they were in childcare and did not spend a lot of time with their sibling or other younger children.

Our society separates children by age from a very young age. Children don’t often get the opportunity to interact with older and younger children the way past generations did. I am currently reading Artificial Maturity by Dr Tim Elmore and he lists this as one of the factors at play in creating artificial maturity. When children are constantly with peer their own age, they lose the opportunity to be inspired by those who can do more and to learn compassion from helping those who know less.

Not only was Molly wise in her desire to interact with children who are younger than her; she also knows a bit more about child development than many adults. She was writing at the art table with some of the younger children who admired her handwriting. Molly told them that she has such good handwriting because she built the muscles in her hands by playing with clay, dirt, and other items before she started writing. She told them not to expect to write like her until their hands are stronger.

This is something I wish parents and early childhood educators would realize. The hand of a 3-year-old is very different than that of a 5-year-old. As you can see in this x-ray comparison. They don’t need to practice writing, they need to build the necessary muscles to write; this, as Molly suggested, is best done by playing with many different materials and using the hand in many ways.

I can’t wait to hear more wisdom from Molly and our other graduates during spring break!

 I have been going through old emails and found one that reminded me of one of the reasons I started Birdsall House.  

At the time I was the lead teacher in an infant classroom.  When parents enrolled their child in my class they were told that the child would stay with me for the first three years, that I would move with the child to the next classroom.  This didn’t happen.  

The parents were given no real say in this.  There was one family that I had advocated for quite often about things like what they could send for their child to eat and other small issues.  After their child was moved from my class I continued to help the family navigate things though I had less power over what happened in other classrooms.  

One of the emails I found was from this mother and there was one line that really spoke to one of the biggest issues I have seen in centers where I have worked.  That line was “I feel like we have no real say in what happens with our child.”   

No parent should feel this way.  No parent or guardian should have to leave their child in a place where they don’t feel they are listened to or where they feel they have no choice but to let things happen that they are not happy with. 

One way we addressed this issue at Birdsall House is by having no classroom.  All of our children play together and interact with all of our staff.  We have staff that may spend more time with the infants but they also play with the older children.  Children are never moved to another classroom where they don’t have access to a teacher they have grown close to. 

We understand that in the first three years of life the most important thing for healthy development is trusting relationships. If a child does not trust that the caregiver they are with loves them and will keep them safe, the child will be less likely to explore and experiment with their environment.  Having consistent care givers in the first three years allows a child to feel safe enough to take risks and try new things. As well as allowing for strong relationships between parents and caregivers, we allow for parents to have say in what their child does and to feel confident that their child will be well cared for. 

Every parent deserves to feel that way!!!