The First Three Years: The Most Critical Time of Life
The first three years are crucial for a child's development. Research shows that while 85% of the brain's infrastructure is laid down by age five, the majority happens before age three. Learning doesn't start on the first day of preschool or kindergarten but on the first day of life.
Building Brain Connections
Everything an infant experiences gives instructions to the brain, telling it which neuronal connections to strengthen and which to prune away. How an infant sees the world shapes their expectations for life. If an infant is treated like a doll—picked up without warning and cared for by people with whom they don't have a strong relationship—they may grow up feeling a lack of control over themselves and their surroundings.
In contrast, an infant treated as a capable human (which they are) grows up feeling secure and confident in their abilities. A simple shift in how we treat infants and toddlers can have a huge impact on their future success in school and life.
Treating Infants with Respect
A coworker once mentioned that you shouldn't do something to an infant that you wouldn't do to a friend. This might sound strange, but here are some examples to illustrate:
Changing Clothes: If you needed to help a friend change their clothes, you wouldn't just start taking their clothes off. You would talk to them about it. Similarly, when your infant needs a diaper change, talk to them. Say things like, "I'm going to change your diaper now," and "We have two tabs to do," and count the tabs.
Consent and Body Autonomy: Would you walk up to a friend and start moving their arms and legs or poking them? Many caregivers treat infants this way, but consent starts in infancy. When giving a baby massage during a diaper change, say, "Do you want a baby massage?" Even the youngest infants can communicate through body language if they want one or not. This wires a child's brain to understand they have control over their bodies.
Communication: If a friend with a traumatic brain injury was relearning how to speak, you wouldn't sit quietly with them. You would talk to them to help them. When you're with your infant, talk to them like a friend. Explain what you're doing and why. Simple things like, "I'm washing the vegetables to get them ready for our dinner," help build their understanding. Some call this "sportscasting," but it's really investing in your child's future.
Maximizing Early Learning
Focusing solely on preschool learning misses a great opportunity to help your child become a lifelong learner. Here are key practices to make the most of this time:
Consistency of Care: Your infant needs to be with someone they know and trust. This allows them to explore and trust that they will be safe and loved, a feeling that will stay with them for life.
Talking to Them: Talk to your infant about everything. You'll be surprised by how much they understand when given the chance. Research highlights the importance of hearing a large number of words before starting school, so don't wait until preschool years. Avoid baby talk; children can learn big words.
Respect and Love: Treat your infant with respect and love. They will grow up knowing they deserve love and respect and are more likely to show it to others.
Conclusion
The first three years of life lay the foundation for a child's future. By providing consistent care, engaging in meaningful conversations, and treating infants with respect, we can foster their development and set them on a path to success. Start today and see the profound impact you can make in your child's life.
